Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
