Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize