The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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