Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
