somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
