I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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