My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
