I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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