i would punch a child for taco bell
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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