all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
