worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
