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alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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