yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
