can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So much Jack, so little girl.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
