Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize