Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize