Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
