And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize