eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize