i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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