atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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