Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
