Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
