I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
