I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Sober January is a disaster.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
