Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
