Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
