I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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