this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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