i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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