so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
