you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So vagazzling was a success
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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