Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
