Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
