You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
