oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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