That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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