He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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