And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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