I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
