WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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