I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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