Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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