we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
