yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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