I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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