you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize