I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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