Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
