but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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