It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
