He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize