i just had sex bonerless
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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