I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
