we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
