sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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