Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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