Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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